What image do you project? I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of “acting” even when everything is going well behind the scenes. I started calling it “acting” after my first bout of depression. I don’t want to act anymore. My life feels best when I’m being authentic. Sometimes that means I’m not positive, smiling, or full of good things. It means I’m quiet, resting, studying. Or crying, angry, and just sad. Some days I just want to watch a Disney movie because I need to feel a little lighter and remember the joy and wonder that little Jackie once felt. But 98% of the time I want to feel the depth of my emotions.
The dangers of being too image-conscious
When you focus on your self-image, you lose your sense of self. It tears you apart slowly and methodically, and you don’t notice until a crisis hits. Then suddenly, you find yourself searching for the truth. Faking it means you doubt yourself when things aren’t perfect because you thought you were doing a good job of controlling everything. It takes time, vulnerability, and sometimes it all falling apart to realize that control is an illusion.
Projecting the best possible story about our lives is nothing new. We often blame social media, but that only makes us pay more attention to what is already there. Think about your childhood. Did you receive messages like this…?
- “This is a family matter. It’s nobody else’s business.”
- “Don’t bring shame to your family.”
- “Blood is thicker than water.”
Can the real people come forward?
What image of your family do you present to the world when you walk out the door? In retrospect, does that image seem authentic?
I am the youngest of three daughters, all of whom were disowned by their parents. I am a wife who deeply loves her husband, who I realized ten years later is not perfect… nor should he be. I am a stepparent, which is a messy and complicated role.
I am a friend of a girl’s extended family and I have felt I have lost touch with some people I have been close to for almost 20 years and it has been very painful. However, I have developed new close relationships with others in the same group in a wonderful and unexpected way. I am an entrepreneur and have experienced many changes in my company since starting it.
Life is messy and complicated. Acknowledge it, acknowledge it, and have the courage to look within so that the chaos becomes empowering. Let go of perfectionism and be willing to create powerful change. That’s what leaders do. One of my favorite quotes is: Monsters live in darkness. When you bring them into the light, they lose their powers.
Monsters live in the dark
This quote has helped me through three battles with depression, through more abuse than a thousand times in a person’s lifetime, and inspired me to create my group counseling program, Silencing the Self-Doubt MonsterOur image of perfection is feeding that monster. If you want to turn the volume down and grow your self-love and self-acceptance, come on this journey with me. The questions I want you to think about are: Are you brave enough to admit that your life is not perfect? If so, Schedule a call.you are not alone.
