Paying attention to men’s physical and mental health in the ever-changing modern society
“Can boys participate?”
This is a question I half-jokingly asked my good friend Wendy Weaver, one of Hong Kong’s most beloved and respected yoga teachers. Wendy was recently teaching a week-long breathing technique course and she told me that there were 12 women in her class.
When asked if boys are allowed to attend, she told me that there was a boy in one of her previous yoga classes. But most of the people interested in her yoga classes are women. There are many reasons to explain this. Many expatriate men in Hong Kong work in the financial industry. Although they don’t have time to attend yoga classes, their spouses often attend. Wendy works at Pure Yoga, one of the largest and best yoga studio chains in Hong Kong, and its members are also mainly women. And Wendy herself, as a teacher, may be more attractive to female students.
But I think there’s something else going on here, because I’ve noticed that men aren’t as prominent in many of the wellness initiatives that have emerged in the past decade. Wellness has changed. But that change seems to be leaving men behind in a big way. While men still participate in the fitness and sports that have dominated wellness in the past few decades, there’s a new approach to wellness that seems to focus more on the mental side of wellness and is more appealing to women. Activities include mind-body movement and connection through yoga, Pilates, Feldenkrais, or ballet, or mental health practices that include meditation, breathing, and sound therapy.
Interestingly, I have observed this gender disparity in participation in wellness events at our hotels, as well as participation in wellness events for colleagues across the company. When we schedule yoga, breathing exercises, or singing bowls, women participate. Men are too lazy to look up from their computers. Personally, as a yoga practitioner, I often find myself the only man in the classroom. While most men would certainly benefit greatly from incorporating these mind-body practices into their lifestyle, they often fail to do so.
A quick look at research summaries on gender differences shows that women tend to be more proactive than men in seeking professional help for their health. Women may be more attentive to their bodily sensations and more willing to share their experiences with a doctor or health provider. Men, on the other hand, may be more likely to minimize or ignore symptoms and less likely to seek help.
Some of these differences may stem from biology, most notably the role women play in bearing children. The act of bearing children itself means that many women are forced to confront major health events in their lives from a very early age. During their reproductive journey, they receive regular health checkups, often discuss their health with their doctors in advance, and have to make major decisions that may affect the health and well-being of themselves or their children. That is, as a necessity of becoming pregnant, many women are exposed to open discussions about their own biology and health at an earlier age. Many men may not be forced to have these conversations until their 50s or even 60s, when they begin to undergo more invasive preventive health screenings.
A recent report titled “Men’s Health/Men’s Wellness” by the Global Wellness Tourism Organization states that the different willingness of men to talk about health is not because men are satisfied with their health. The organization’s survey of men showed that less than a third of baby boomers consider themselves to be in good health.
Although men are encouraged to “show vulnerability” today, in harsher times, men were rewarded if they always showed strength.
A large proportion of them suffer from chronic diseases and more than half have sleep problems.
While the men in the study said that eliminating stress was their primary motivation for exercising, they often cited physical activity as the most important path to a greater sense of well-being. Men may discount the importance of emotional, spiritual or social activities, even though research in the field of psychology suggests these aspects of health can be critical to both physical and mental health. George Vaillant, who for decades directed Harvard Medical School’s Grant Study, one of the largest and longest-running studies of men’s health ever conducted, found that healthy, nurturing relationships were a key factor in predicting men’s health as they age. Professor Chris Peterson, one of the founders of modern positive psychology, said the entire field can be summed up in three words: “Other people matter.” But sadly, many men seem to prefer facing difficulties alone. They pursue more active but solitary health activities rather than the more communal, emotional and spiritual ones that are becoming increasingly popular today.
exist Walden PondHenry David Thoreau wrote, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” This quote is one I’ve often thought of (and resonated with) as I’ve navigated my own life’s trials. Even today, it’s easy to resonate with Thoreau’s writings. Walden Pond and relate to this malaise of “quiet despair” that we all experience, even though life is certainly much better in modern times than it was in 1854, when Walden Pond Published.
In reading this quote, one does not know whether Thoreau is making a specific statement about the human predicament. maleThis may be different with women, or he was simply using the more patriarchal language of the time to refer to broader statements about the human condition. Certainly his ideas and writing were inspired by his own experiences as a man of that time, living in a rapidly changing world of industrialization and urbanization.
If we assume that Thoreau was trying to call attention to the special challenges facing men, then we have to assume that men’s lives are somehow more “desperate” and “quiet.” Perhaps the “desperateness” stems from the traditional role of men as protectors and breadwinners of the family. Traditionally, human survival depended largely on competition between men and other men, through war, commerce, and even love. Men were expected to face the existential threats of the day head-on, sometimes through strategy and leadership, sometimes through hard work, and sometimes through hand-to-hand combat or warfare.
The number of men attending activities such as spa, yoga, Pilates, dance, and therapeutic social circles or discussion groups seems to be increasing year by year.
Likewise, men may have evolved to live a more “quiet” life due to the need to demonstrate strength in existential conflicts. While men are encouraged to be “vulnerable” today, in tougher times, men were rewarded for always showing strength. Any admission of weakness could result in a loss of trust and support from those around them, or worse, exposing weakness could encourage their enemies to attack them more aggressively.
Today, we live in a more peaceful, equal age. The threats to men are less severe than they once were, and gender boundaries between men and women in social roles are more loose today. But reflecting on these historical differences may help us understand the forces that shape men’s attitudes toward wellness. With this in mind, the spa and wellness industry should consider the following when communicating our services:
1. Men need more than just physical health. Men need help with their health now more than ever. And they need more than just physical help. Men should be encouraged to try spiritual, emotional and social activities. Men should think more about the non-physical aspects of health, such as mental health, positive social relationships, emotional flexibility, mindfulness and sleep.
2. The situation is changing. Although men tend to participate in certain types of wellness activities and may feel uncomfortable around others, this gender difference is gradually disappearing. The number of men participating in activities such as spas, yoga, Pilates, dance, and therapeutic circles or discussion groups appears to be increasing year by year.
3. These challenges are not unique to men. As gender roles shift, more women are taking on key leadership positions in all walks of life. We can probably assume that the “silent despair” Thoreau describes is not specific to any gender, but rather to the challenges of trying to succeed in a competitive, ever-changing environment. Being in a position to ensure success by hiding our weaknesses means that we often sacrifice our emotional well-being for financial security or promotion.
One thing is certain, wellness is evolving, and this affects both men and women. Wellness in the past was primarily about physical health. The main topics were smoking cessation, cardiovascular health, and healthy weight management. But today’s wellness brand is about how we cope with stress, our relationship with technology, our ability to sleep well, and our ability to connect well with those around us in an increasingly fast-paced and highly connected technological world. We all need to utilize new tools and pathways to maintain not only our physical health, but our emotional and spiritual well-being as well.
